LIcking Inappropriate Things

Yesterday we got carpet over the terra-cotta and concrete flooring in our den. It is heavenly. M. is as delighted as a congested 8 month old on decongestants can be. He spent a good 5 minutes rubbing it with his little baby fingers and flexing his little baby toes in it, before he licked it. The flavor was not quite what he expected if his face were any indication. So that would be the first inappropriate thing licked this week.

Today M. learned he could scoot around the room. 3 different electrical cords were licked, before I got them away. So now we are up to 4 inappropriate things licked by M. this week.

This morning A and I were awakened by the sound of G vomiting vigorously while M coughed courageously. Thankfully G made it to the toilet. So both kids got to make a trip to see Dr. Monica. While checking in, M. leaned out of my arms and licked the receptionist window. Then he licked the arm of my chair in the waiting room. I'm almost certain he licked the blinds behind me. Then he licked the table in the weigh-in room, and in the exam room. I think he also licked and chewed on Dr. Monica's hair. So that takes us to 9 inappropriate objects.

After the trip to see Dr. Monica, M. licked the outside of his brother's water bottle (can we say ew! vomity germs!). Then he had to take a break and have a nap while we picked up some popsicles for G. After his nap M. was again lounging on the awesome new carpet and managed to grab 3 different remote controls and 2 phones and lick them all. Then he rolled to the TV and licked the speaker.

Moral of the story, you can't disinfect everything, because your baby will find new things to lick.

Reset Buttons and Not Sucking

This was written on Saturday, but I didn't hit publish post until today because of the buckets of snot poring out of Moses' and my heads.

How much more awesome would life as a parent be if kids had reset buttons. If you could just erase certain things that were said to them. Ahhh....no more toddlers with potty mouths. No more preschoolers repeating embarrassing things. Today, I would have loved to have such a thing.

G is playing soccer. I know this isn't the super competitive league, but it is important to our little family. We have special game day pancakes, and fix his hair in a faux hawk. It's fun for us to get him pumped up and feel good about himself. G now is into our ritual, so every Saturday morning we get pumped for some beautifully chaotic, 4 year old soccer.

G also expects adults to tell the truth, because we don't lie to him. If we say, "Son, if you do that again, I will punish you," we back it up. If we say, "we are going to do X, on this day," we do X on that day. Because that is the way the world should be when you are 4. He doesn't yet know that adults suck a large part of the time. Today, he got a lesson on this. So he's a trusting and naive soul.

A family member told G at his first soccer game that he, the family member would be at every game. This man has missed the last two games. So we are stuck with explaining to G why this adult, who he loves, has stood him up. Let's see...what truth should we tell our child? That this person is selfish? That this person is a liar, and unworthy of his trust? How exactly do we tell our child this.

Last week a friend of mine from out of town missed G's game by about 30 minutes due to my new phone being a new phone. Meaning I had no contacts yet, and sometimes forget I have the ringer off. So she told G that she would be at his game this Saturday no matter what. Then came the week. Things happened, as things do, and she wasn't able to come to town. Which would have been fine and understandable had she called. But G was looking for her, and was disappointed that his "aunt" wasn't there as well.

Moral of the story is, don't promise to be there for a child and then bail. You kind of suck if you do. Just call ahead of time and at least let the kid know what is going on in general terms. Don't forget them, oversleep, or just not show. Don't teach our children to lie. Also, if you pour that big bowl of suckatude over a child's head, have the decency to apologize to them if their parents will let you. Be an adult.

Today did have a surprise joy saver. G's aunt and younger cousin came to the game unexpectedly. You could tell it just made his day, and he played so much more joyfully after they arrived. He even blocked a goal and then drove the ball all the way down to his goal. He wanted to show off for his baby cousin, who mutually adores G. So he didn't really care that some people didn't show for his big game. Guess that just shows me how I should feel too.

G arranges the universe

When A and I got married, we were living 3 hours apart. So, after the honeymoon we packed up G and moved to the big city. During our first year of marriage A and I bought a house on a quiet street inhabited mostly by the newly wed and nearly dead. It seems as if half the residents have been here forever, and the others are chasing small children just like us. It's a nice little place to live. However, my parents are now 3 hours away. G does not like this. Here is his solution, as told to his grandmother last week.

"G-ma, you should move to S-city. There are lots of jobs here. You and Pop don't need the horses, you could sell them and use the money to move to town."

My mother replies, "Well honey, even if we moved here we probably wouldn't be able to live very close to you."

G says, "No, you could live close to us. Our neighbors are very old. They'll probably die soon, and you can buy their house."

-Ahhh....the simplicity of childhood.